Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption, by Joan Mary Wheeler
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Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption, by Joan Mary Wheeler
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Raised from infancy as an only child, 18 year old Joan Mary Wheeler knows only that she was adopted. In her senior year of high school in 1974, she is found by siblings she did not know she had.They tell her that she was the youngest of five children born to married parents, that their mother died when she was three months old, and that her name was Doris Michol Sippel.What happens next is the unfolding of family secrets and betrayal, joys of discovery, sadness of time lost, and the push and pull of two families on the one person they share. This adoption reunion reaches across the North American continent, the Atlantic Ocean, and spans four decades.This is also the story of one woman who examined her two different birth certificates for 40 years and asks, "Why did New York State Health Department, Division of Vital Statistics, change my identity?"
Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption, by Joan Mary Wheeler- Amazon Sales Rank: #1611211 in Books
- Published on: 2015-11-02
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .94" w x 6.00" l, 1.21 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 374 pages
About the Author Joan Mary Wheeler is an American civil rights activist fighting for the freedom of 7 to 10 million domestic-and-foreign-born adopted and donor-conceived people. Joan promotes family preservation, kinship care,and guardianship as better alternatives to adoption. She is an adoption abolitionist, citing the demand for newborn infants and the "save the orphans" religious mission to adopt third world children as just two examples of child trafficking in the profit-driven multi-billion dollar adoption and donor-conception industries.Joan is a displaced and resettled person by adoption. She is a half-orphan in her actual family, a legitimate bastard in her adoptive family, and the victim of government mandated identity theft and reassignment.Joan began researching and writing about adoption at age 19 in 1975. Her articles have appeared in newspapers and social work journals in The United States and England. Her autobiographical journal article was translated into Dutch and published in an anthology book of essays on adoption, Kind Van Ander Ouders (Child of Other Parents). Joan was a contributing writer in government publications: The United States Congressional Record, The United States President's Council on Bioethics (on the rights of donor-conceived persons), and the Australian Law Reform Commission of New South Wales. Joan has been interviewed on radio and television in The United States, Canada, and England. Her articles on identity theft through adoption and donor-conception were published on Dissident Voice website, 2015. dissidentvoice.org/author/joanwheeler/Joan's website is forbiddenfamily.comJoan is the owner of Identity Press, an independent publisher specializing in memoir and biography of adopted and donor-conceived people, 2015. She received a Bachelor of Arts from Mercyhurst University in Erie, Pennsylvania (1978) and a Bachelor of Science in Social Work from State University of New York College at Buffalo, graduating Cum Laude (1999).
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Most helpful customer reviews
9 of 13 people found the following review helpful. Think You Know Adoption? By Fred Tomasello Jr. “Nobody thought about it. We just wanted a child.” The “it” is adoption. These are the words Joan Wheeler’s adoptive mother related to her years later and they equal the preconceived ideas about adoption held by me and millions of others.A phone call at age 18 starts the "reunion" and carries the reader on an emotional roller-coaster that continues for decades. The raw, descriptive language connects as secrets and family nuances are revealed. Every page is riveting and the candid details are gut wrenching. Long years of discovery, rejection, introspection, research, maturity and courage merge Joan’s memoir into a laser light focusing on the pure importance of truth.While undergoing years of severe emotional stress, I am amazed that Ms. Wheeler was miraculously able to write cogently about her families. Her clarity and conclusions enhanced my understanding of adoption. As Joan’s natural father admitted years later, “But if I had education, none of this would have happened.”
3 of 5 people found the following review helpful. An eye-opening book By Stanley Bostich I have absolutely no experience with adoption. I learned SO much from this book. It wasn’t an easy read for me. I had difficulty keeping track of the various family members (birth, adoptive, half-birth, foster-step-adoptive, I think). What I found most amazing was the images of the two birth certificates listing different parents and birth names. I was astounded to discover that many adult adoptees do not have access to their own birth records. That is just flat-out wrong.The reunion portion of the book gave me a perspective that never would have occurred to me. I now have some appreciation of the time, energy, and stress involved with being “found” and getting to know the “new” family. Just the extra demand on your time could really mess things up. In these families, there were so many half-orphans and adoptions, etc. that it is no surprise that they were really messed up. I have no doubt that there was much love. There was also much anger and cruelty.Also, adoption seems to be much more common than I realized. For example, while I was reading this book, I had it with me in a restaurant. The waitress asked me about it, then told me the story of her adoption.Though this book is a memoir, the author puts a lot of effort (perhaps unsuccessfully) into trying to understand/explain the feelings of the other people involved. I’m also impressed with her desire to fit into all the sets of relatives and how much effort she put into it over the years. My overall impression is that the author was a pretty normal artsy teenage girl, then WHAM!I highly recommend this book to anyone considering adoption. It can give a heads-up to a lot of easily avoided pitfalls. For adoptees, well, if you’re interested in hearing someone else’s story…this is one hell of a story.
6 of 10 people found the following review helpful. Strangers When They Meet By Lori Carangelo Joan Wheeler takes the reader within, so that the reader feels the trauma she experienced. By doing so, the reader can understand that, not only in Wheeler's case, but also in most post-adoption reunions, no matter how they are handled, adoptees are meeting strangers who had been in on the secret to varying degrees. A "birth" mother, and in Wheeler's case, birth siblings, have memory of the child up to the point of relinquishment. The adoptive parent(s) are provided some degree of pre-adoption history and may or may not share what they know,at their discretion. "Forbidden Family" supports the need for abolition of secrecy in the adoption process and not just 18 or more years after finalization -- as well as the need for better forms of legal custody, such as individualized legal guardianships, that are truly "in child's best interestsCHOSEN CHILDREN - Billion Dollar Babies in America's Failed Foster Care, Adoption & Prison SystemsTHE ADOPTION and DONOR CONCEPTION FACTBOOK: The Only Comprehensive Source of U.S. & Global Data on the Invisible Families of Adoptiom, Foster Care & Donor ConceptionTHE ADOPTION and DONOR CONCEPTION FACTBOOK: The Only Comprehensive Source of U.S. & Global Data on the Invisible Families of Adoptiom, Foster Care & Donor Conception
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